Mean What You Say & Say What You Mean

Do you always mean what you say and say what you mean to your kids?

When I first learned about Responsive Classroom Teacher Language, it contradicted the way I had heard other teachers talk to their students. However, when I implemented this way of speaking with my students it completely changed the culture of my classroom, for the better. I used this language in schools with different classroom management initiatives and varying socio-economic statuses. It was successful in all settings and with the variety in the types of students I have taught (gifted, learning disability, ADHD, ODD, etc.).

I am going to give you my interpretation of the language types and how I use them effectively in my classroom. Read about Responsive Classroom at my blog post here. For more information go to the Responsive Classroom website here or buy the book that will really enhance your understanding, Power of Our Words.

There are 3 types of language teachers use to encourage students to behavior appropriately.

Reinforcing Language

This is the language that I use ALL. THE. TIME. It was also the hardest habit to form for me. I am so used to saying, “Great job!” “I am so proud of you!” “Nice work!” etc. but doesn’t it make so much sense that the student might not know exactly what I am talking about? Specific feedback while it doesn’t seem as cheery and colorful is more meaningful and impactful for the students. Once I got in the habit of it, specific statements just roll off my tongue now! Students light up so much more when I say, “I noticed how you lined up so quickly at the end of recess!” rather than a “Good job!” Of course I still use these cheery responses, students love to know the exact things they did that made you happy because they want to be able to do it again. I also believe that using this language helps me notice positive aspects of every students’ performance. Focusing on the positive helps me stay positive!

Reminding Language

One of the most important parts of using this type of language effectively is maintaining a neutral tone and body language. We all have been there when we are trying to correct a students but have had it with whatever they are doing and our tone shows that more than we want it to. It is an art to stay and sound calm while your head is exploding. You can do it!! You can always say, “Freeze!” to stop the behavior then take a breath to calm down before continuing.

Reminders can be given in a statement or a question but they should be communicated with trust and encouragement that the student can do the right thing. For example, “What can you do to solve that problem?” is a more effective way to remind than, “Why don’t you figure out how to clean up this mess?” Statements that begin with “Show me…” or “Think about…” expressing the belief that students know the appropriate expectation and are able to do it.

At the end of the year, I let students lead different parts of our day. One of my adorable 2nd graders started saying things like, “Show me the safe way to sit in your chairs before we start the lesson.” “Show me bubbles in your mouth so I know you are ready to listen.” I could not believe that she noticed and remembered the reminders that I use with them ALL THE TIME. The funniest part was the class responded to the reminders coming from their classmate just as well as they did when I said it. It was great! 

Redirecting Language

Redirecting language is for when you notice those signs and patterns of actions or words right before a behavior problem, these statements can help influence what will happen next. These are always statements that address the child directly. I often state the rules in respond to students misbehavior to change what they are doing. If I had a penny for the number of times I say, “Raise your hand to walk or talk.” I could retire now! But my kids know I will NEVER answer their blurt I will always respond with that statement. Name the desired behavior, don’t tell them what they did wrong or ask them to fix it- at the point that reminding language did not work they need to be told what to do.

If the redirection does not work, then it is time for a logical consequence, or a more one on one intervention to fix the problem.

Head over to my blog on how I use logical consequences to learn more about that- here!

Try out these languages in your classroom and let me know how they work! I love the changes they have made to the climate of my classroom!!