Teaching Conflict Resolution

Conflicts pop up ALL day, don’t they? “He has my pencil.” “I want to use the red crayon first.” “No one wants to play basketball with me.” “I don’t know where to turn in my paper.” “She looked at me wrong.” The good news is, you do not need to solve all of these problems! Teach your students the skills to do it themselves! (But of course come to you if they need help with big problems.)

Conflict Resolution is a skill that students need to practice in every single grade, hey even adults could use some reteaching once in a while. For a lot of kids, problems seem REALLY big and they quickly become reactive handling the situation in a harmful rather than helpful way. Some kids also constantly choose the flight option in fight or flight when faced with a problem and are being “knocked down” emotionally or mentally by constant small issues.

I feel a frustration for teachers often comes from how students react to confrontation with others, being faced with a dilemma, lack of academic confidence/ ability, or feeling angry/sad/frustrated. However, I believe if students are not intentionally taught and immersed in models of appropriate reactions, it is something most do not naturally do.

I introduce the idea of conflict resolution with a delightful book filled with humor, suspense, rhyme, and a strong plot, Lady Pancake & Sir French Toast.

In this story, there is only ONE drop of maple syrup left! Lady Pancake and Sir French Toast both want the last drop for themselves. Chaos ensures as they try to race and sabotage each other to get the last drop. In the end the characters learn that their fighting and competing but made them both lose and it was better to compromise on butter. This is a great story to springboard ideas for conflicts that arise in the classroom and lead into practicing compromises. Also, the food jokes are excellent and so enjoyable!

Conflicts With Others

• Strictly No Elephants
• Recess Queen
• Juice Box Bully 

Conflicts With Self

• The Worry Box
• After the Fall
• Giraffes Can’t Dance

Activities with the Lesson

• Discuss how to apologize, make an anchor chart together (sentence starters), role play
• Videos
  • Dr. Seuss Zax– silly non example of a way to solve a problem, students discuss what Zax could have done
  • The Olive Branch– Animals cold, fighting over blanket
  • The Olive Branch– animals one sleeping, one playing music –> discuss how this can relate to situations in the classroom (trying to focus, trying to listen while others are talking or making sounds)
  • Robin Williams– explaining the definition of conflict with muppets
• Resolution Options- make an anchor chart or card students can keep in their desk
• intentional modeling to students, role play

How I reinforce conflict resolution in my classroom:

I assume students can solve the problem themselves to empower them but check in on them by saying:

• “do you need my help or can you use your conflict resolution skills?”
• “I want you to try to use a conflict resolution strategy, I will check on your in a minute to see how it went!”
• “I am proud of you for using your conflict resolution skills.”
• “I love how you noticed the problem and talked about it together to come up with a solution.”

Point out when students solve a problem appropriately independently EVERY TIME. Be a broken record! It will empower them to keep solving their own problems and fighting their own battles.